Welcome to Beyond Coping – for those living through dying
Here you’ll find information about hospice nurse, author, life transitions coach, counselor, professional speaker, health care case manager and workshop facilitator Denys Cope, RN, BSN as well as her book on the process of dying, Dying: A Natural Passage. Also featured are helpful links and resources on living through dying and Denys’ blog.
If I had one gift to give the world it would be to know that death is not a failure and dying is not something to be feared. My dear friend Pepper’s mother was dying in a nursing home in California. Her grown children were with her. I was staying in touch by phone, doing hospice long distance. One day I called and one of her daughters, Katerin, came to the phone and described her mother’s breathing. From the description, I recognized that she was in the advanced labor of dying, so I described the stages her mother would be going through in her remaining hours. It took all of about 20 minutes to explain this. Later she sent me a note that has meant so much, and it says it all.
Katerin wrote, “I can’t even being to tell you how instrumental you were in helping me embrace my Mom’s dying process in love and release. I am so grateful for your call to the convalescence center and your quick walk-through of the physical process. Right before you called, I was ready to leave, very afraid of what was going to happen. Your words gave me strength and I was able to be present for my Mom and love her through her accomplishment.”
“She was so loving and courageous in return. I will never fear death, and have been forever altered by that mysterious event. I am so grateful to you. ‘Thank you’ seems so feeble an expression. In James Joyce’s words, ‘It was an epiphany.'”
My dream is that everyone be able to find the support that allows the fear of dying to be replaced by a richer, more positive experience which embraces the gifts that are available during this extraordinary time.
—From the forward of Denys’ book, Dying: A Natural Passage available here.